Top 10 Bullshit Excuses Fat Snowflakes Use to Negotiate More Carbs in their Macros

It’s Always About “I Deserve More Carbs Because XYZ…”

In the last few months, I have the honor and pleasure to do podcasts with the top health and performance interviewers on the Internet: Tim Ferris, Mike Mutzel, Mark Bell and Dave Asprey. Every one of them had a particular interest on my views on carbohydrate intake, and enjoyed broad casting my one-liners such as the notable “you need to deserve your carbs, if you have penis skin on your arms you can have carbs”.

And, of course, many people through social media have tried to get a hall pass, or my blessing so they, the very special, can further justify their mindless carb gorging.

Here are their top ten bullshit excuses:

1. My FitBit app tells me I burned off 472 calories in my walk

 

2. I won a participation ribbon at every sporting event.

3. I had a class bully called Nick Mitchell who called me Humpty Dumpty

4. I am a hard worker, I am always the first one to puke at CrossFit.

5. My great grand-mother was Italian.

6. My mom told me I was born during the Aquarius age, therefore I am special.

7. My cousin’s hairdresser has a dentist whose brother-in-law has a personal trainer, who played soccer in the 3rd division in Slovenia, and HE says I can have carbs

8. I am tall with very long arms, therefore I am terrible at chin-ups.

9. I did not vote for Brexit

10. He is not my President

 

Need more info. Watch this enlightening video: