14 Sure Fire Steps to Stay a Skinny Fat Whining Dweeb – Updated

1

Be delusional about being fast-twitch and doing low rep sets. That is despite the facts that your forearms can clean a pipe, you have the calf development of a parrot, and I can barely slip a credit card under your feet when you do a vertical jump.

skinnyarms

2

Believe the plank should be your primary core exercise.

PLANK

3

Do three total body workouts a week. Stay away from split routines, you will gain size and mass on them.

 

4

Fear training more than once a day.

fear

 

5

Keep on drinking glow in the dark fizzy casein drinks while you train

glow_drinks

 

6

Stop lifting the bar as soon as it decelerates.

 

7

Worry about getting enough carbs in your diet.

man_worry_carbs

 

8

Keep on eating only the whites in eggs.

egg-whites

9

Piss and moan that good supplements are expensive.

supplements_dollar

 

10

Read everything on strength training but keep debating successful strength coaches on why you keep following the given above nine steps.

geek

11

You firmly believe that the Goblet Squat is a great leg builder

 

goblet squat

12

You stay away from post-workout feeding

refuse food

13

You use the standard Men’s Physique camouflage technique for your horrendous legs: knee-length shorts over thights.

skinny fat legs

P.S. We can still see that you have the calf development of a budgie… See point #1

14

Keep doing functional movements that don’t do dick! Perfect excuse to avoid doing hard work that pays off such as squats and deadlifts

functional bullshit

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